just tell him i said nine months
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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