I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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