The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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