SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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