I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
