8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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