scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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