please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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