terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
