My liver just broke up with me...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
