Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
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I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
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