were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
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No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
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I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar