she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.