I CAN MOONWALK!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
nutella sex= disaster
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.