Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?