Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.