Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
