YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
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