Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
