Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Randomize
