he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
