yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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