there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
