did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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