so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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