If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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