How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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