my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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