I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
