Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
