I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
