the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
