I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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