Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize