then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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