He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
