This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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