Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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