yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i think i have herpe
just one?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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