she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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