Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
