I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
