Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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