3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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