"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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