So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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