we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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