i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize