he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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