why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
