he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
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She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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