Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
