I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
