we're chasing vodka with high fives
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
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This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
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God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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