Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
