So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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