im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
People with herpes should wear stickers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
