one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
