You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
