I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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