Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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