i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
she smelled like a LAN party
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
